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BREATHING AND GROWING

  





Happy 1 month baby girl! You are a a fighter and stronger than I could have ever hoped for. When I am holding her skin to skin, she will lift her head all the way up and turn it to the other side. I do not know how such a tiny little thing is so mighty and can go through so much being worked on at the hospital. I didn’t make it more than 1 night each time I was hospitalized before I said enough is enough and got myself out of there. Gabriella is doing well continuing on RAM nasal cannula (oxygen delivery device that can be used as an alternative approach to deliver positive pressure) with NIV (non-invasive ventilation) NAVA (A mode of NIV called neurally adjusted ventilatory assist offers patient-ventilator interactions by using electrical activity of the diaphragm to control mechanical breaths.) I got to help with a sponge bath for the first time today.  I have a panicked moment every time I see her O2 levels drop, but she has not had any concerning events and staff keep saying she is doing well. The last physician that spoke with me said that there are no changes or news, and they’d like to keep it that way for awhile. Looking ahead, they are going to be ready for Hep B vaccine, an eye exam, and OT teaching massage techniques. The only current updates that RN’s give is increases in breastmilk through NG tube about 1ml at a time. She has been gaining weight and is now 1270g which is getting closer to 3lb! Thankfully, I have been able to keep up with pumping and getting enough breastmilk for her daily, even when I spend a couple days at home. I keep counting my blessings, but I still have yet to get the feeling that things are getting easier. Going to the hospital is so anxiety inducing and holding Gabriella is still feeling pretty scary. I have guilt about being away from wherever I am not at the time, and still would rather keep Hannah with me all the time. We know it would not be fair to keep Hannah away from preschool and dance class, so we still are driving back and forth about 3 times a week to make sure she is not away from us more than 1 night. It is a blessing that we have managed this. It is going to be a whole new level of balancing once Aaron is back to work in November. We have been giving our puppy Emma extra cuddles, as we will be saying goodbye on Sunday for her to go to about 8 weeks of training. It is a blessing that we found a place in town last second as Aaron was on his way to take her to a place in Alliance, OH. It is the best way to lighten up the stress of the doggy shuffle and not having time to train her in all the ways we hoped to at this time. Hannah has definitely been more emotional lately, but we are grateful for how she expresses her sadness and fears, so we know about it. She has so many friends and family members loving on her, and we are very blessed by that too. I can’t believe how much she has grown over the past year in all of her abilities and understanding. She is extremely helpful around the house, even helps me when I need to pump and always makes sure I am comfortable. She is such a good sister to her pups Bella and Emma. I am so looking forward to the amazing big sis she will be to Gabriella. We want everyone that continues to check in with us and drop off baskets/cards to know we feel very blessed by you and are amazed by your caring hearts. Thanks for continuing to follow our NICU story! 


 


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